You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
