Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
