Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
