he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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