So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I am available for nakedness
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
