plz talk dirty to me
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
