I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
