Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
