if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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