Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
