your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
