That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
