Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
BRING THE BAGELS
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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