I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
