she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
