Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
