No, drunk sperm still make babies.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
