I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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