he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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