I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
