Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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