got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize