'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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