I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
