5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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