Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
