i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We are all done wearing pants today
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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