Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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