he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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