I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
