Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
