YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
