I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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