she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
