Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
