No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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