i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
