Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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