Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
