I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
