theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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