we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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