im drinking this country out of the recession.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I understand Curling. That high.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
