I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
