i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
