Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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