is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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