If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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