You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
