The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
