so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
