What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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