you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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