After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
