I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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