Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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